Closing Time

Another doozy of a night. With so many gems to choose from I'll tell about my last table of the night.

I was not closing tonight. I could have left as soon as my last table left. Unfortunately they decided to stay until well after closing time. And sure enough, they left me 10%. And they had a free appetizer. Are you that cheap that you get free food and still can't leave a decent tip? You suck.

We've all eaten out and been there when the restaurant is closing. It happens. If you should find yourself in this situation please follow these simple guidelines to ensure you are not having your food messed with.

-Be respectful. If they are locking up as you are walking in don't ask them to stay open for you.
-Don't wait to order. Figure out what you want as quickly as possible. There are a lot of people (kitchen staff, servers, hosts and managers) that have lives and would like to go home.
-DO NOT SEND BACK YOUR FOOD! The grill has been closed, everything has been put away, and the kitchen stiff WILL mess with your food.
-Don't order coffee or dessert. The coffee will probably be old and reheated in the microwave anyway.
-Respect last call. Don't brow beat someone into getting you another round of drinks.
-Finish you food, ask for the check, pay it and leave.
-Leave at least 20%. If you are there well after close you should leave much more. If it was Friday at 5pm and your boss asked you to stay a few extra hours, how much more money would you want?
-Don't be proud of the fact that you shut down the restaurant, or that your blind date was so great that you stayed around for hours talking after the lights were turned up and chairs put on the tables. What you should have been proud of was closing the deal early and getting laid instead of ruining everyone elses' night.

One of these days when a guest asks "Oh, I'm sorry. Are we the last ones? Are you waiting on us?" I am going to tell them the truth and give them a piece of my mind. If your server says something like "no worries", or "it's all good" what they mean is "fuck you".