Changing Orders

There is this ridiculous thing becoming much more common. You order your food, and then at some point before it arrives, stop someone to change your order. This is so nuts. We've already begun cooking the food, what the heck are we supposed to do with it now???

A couple did it today. They ordered two sandwiches, then stopped my manager as he was walking by to change to 1 entree that they wanted to split.
A lady did it a couple of days ago. She ordered an entree, then asked me 10 minutes later if it was too late to change her mind. I told her it was to late, it was being plated as we spoke.
Another lady did it last week, she wanted to change her entree. I was able to change the order for her.

I have several theories for why this is becoming more common. It may be the economy. People are more careful about how they are spending their dollars, so they are constantly rethinking their purchases. The other is that people are just becoming mush brained and indecisive do to excessive TV and Internet use. These guests seem to be totally out of touch with reality. The product you ordered is being used and prepared to your specifications. It is now complete waste. It also backs up the kitchen, making everyone else wait for the food they know they wanted.

If you don't know what you want it is OK to take a few more minutes to read the menu. Don't guess. "I guess I want chicken. Oh, is it ready? I meant fish." Grow the hell up and make a decision like an adult.

Sunday Rudeness

Yeah for Sundays and plenty of fodder for my blog. I'll go with my first table of the day. It was a table of 3 women that looked at me with blank stares and proceeded to give me a run for my money. They were a text book study in rudeness.

One woman ordered a hot tea. Servers HATE hot teas. They are a pain in the ass because of so many elements that fills up your hands and makes it impossible to multi-task. After I had served her tea and put away the tea box, her friend decided she wanted one too. Bite me.

All three wanted appetizers. The third woman wanted her app and meal at the same time, a separate check, and a dessert to go. I had a feeling she hated the other two. As I brought their food the last woman was complaining that she didn't have everything she ordered. Relax lady, it's still in my hands.

The second woman didn't tell me she had a food allergy and we had to remake her food. And also sent me on at least 3 trips back for extra sauces and add ons. She asked me twice what my name was again, but it was too much for her to remember.

The first woman decided to finish her meal and then complain about how much fat was on her pork chop and that she shouldn't have to pay for it. Way to get a free meal and piss off your server.

On both checks they left me about 18%, which is the minimum you should leave for good service. It was a relief when I saw my tips, I didn't expect anywhere near that much. But as any other server will tell you, these kind of guests are not worth the effort.

Closing Time

Another doozy of a night. With so many gems to choose from I'll tell about my last table of the night.

I was not closing tonight. I could have left as soon as my last table left. Unfortunately they decided to stay until well after closing time. And sure enough, they left me 10%. And they had a free appetizer. Are you that cheap that you get free food and still can't leave a decent tip? You suck.

We've all eaten out and been there when the restaurant is closing. It happens. If you should find yourself in this situation please follow these simple guidelines to ensure you are not having your food messed with.

-Be respectful. If they are locking up as you are walking in don't ask them to stay open for you.
-Don't wait to order. Figure out what you want as quickly as possible. There are a lot of people (kitchen staff, servers, hosts and managers) that have lives and would like to go home.
-DO NOT SEND BACK YOUR FOOD! The grill has been closed, everything has been put away, and the kitchen stiff WILL mess with your food.
-Don't order coffee or dessert. The coffee will probably be old and reheated in the microwave anyway.
-Respect last call. Don't brow beat someone into getting you another round of drinks.
-Finish you food, ask for the check, pay it and leave.
-Leave at least 20%. If you are there well after close you should leave much more. If it was Friday at 5pm and your boss asked you to stay a few extra hours, how much more money would you want?
-Don't be proud of the fact that you shut down the restaurant, or that your blind date was so great that you stayed around for hours talking after the lights were turned up and chairs put on the tables. What you should have been proud of was closing the deal early and getting laid instead of ruining everyone elses' night.

One of these days when a guest asks "Oh, I'm sorry. Are we the last ones? Are you waiting on us?" I am going to tell them the truth and give them a piece of my mind. If your server says something like "no worries", or "it's all good" what they mean is "fuck you".